If you are anything like me, you know what it is like to experience the sweet and sometimes painful longing of nostalgia. The feeling is hard to accurately convey, but it can be intoxicating as memories of days long gone wash over our thoughts and imagination, piercing through the ordinariness and challenges of our present lives. This is all well and good in its proper place—happy memories are a gift because they remind us of specific ways and seasons in which God filled our lives with blessing. The problem is that sometimes we can become trapped in nostalgia, preferring the warm glow of days gone by over the persistent, repetitive experience of everyday life.
One preacher of the wisdom of Holy Scripture highlights this danger when he warns us:
Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this. (Ecclesiastes 7:10)
This describes the dangerous dynamic of comparing the happiest moments of the past with the sorrows, suffering, and stodginess of what we regularly face in the present. It has been said that “comparison is the thief of joy,” and this joy-thief is not only found in comparing our lives with others but also in comparing our present with the past, growing bitter that life isn’t what we wish it could be or thought it might be.
In David Gibson’s excellent book “Living Life Backward,” he reflects on this biblical warning and writes, “To ask the question…is unwise, because it forgets about God. Often when we ask this, it’s because we are blind to the good things of the present and ignorant of the evil of the past.” Our memories are highly selective, and while we must deal with the presence of painful memories and the potential for bitterness inherent in them, we are honest when we admit we often sugar-coat the past. We conveniently forget the sting of all the hard things that happened in that season of our lives as we experience the warmth of nostalgia. Conversely, when we live in this edited version of the past, we may become blind to all the good gifts we have received and enjoy today, even in dark and difficult seasons.
Wisdom, then, is to put memory in its proper place in our lives. Wisdom is refusing to miss the present by seeking to futilely relive the glory days that Springsteen sang about. Wisdom is refusing to compare the past with the present and conclude that our best days are behind us as we face the challenges of the present and the future. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t get out the photo albums and pore over them at family gatherings. I’m not saying we shouldn’t enjoy the warmth of happy memories. I’m simply advocating for wisdom and clear thinking as we do.
A number of years ago, a member of the church I serve as a pastor died of cancer in his early forties. He was an impressive physical specimen and was a gifted athlete who used his free time to practice for “American Ninja Warrior” and train neighborhood kids in sports and fitness. I will not soon forget visiting him in a hospital room with his dear wife at his bedside. The treatments were ineffective, and he was a skeletal shadow of his former self, teetering on the verge of death. As I talked with him and prayed, he looked up at me with a smile and told me how grateful he was. He was grateful for over forty years of life that God had given him. He was grateful for the children that God had blessed him and his wife with. He was grateful for a full and rich life that he didn’t deserve. My friend died within weeks after that visit, but his gratefulness lingers with me to this day. When he was staring death in the face, memories flooded his mind, but instead of bitterness or resentment at perceived unfairness on God’s part, he was grateful for God’s generosity toward him.
An important way to approach this issue is to put things in proper perspective by placing God and his goodness at the center of our lives. We can and should thank God for the moments and the gifts that make up the warm memories of the past. We cultivate gratitude for the daily mercy and present grace we receive today, and we seek to be faithful to the One who is the source of every blessing. And we cultivate expectation and hope for the future, knowing that ultimately, our future is a kingdom of everlasting joy and blessing in the presence of the Lord whom we love. Let’s heed divine wisdom and not fall prey to the trap of nostalgia as we cultivate the gratitude that is only appropriate in light of the many gifts and blessings God has poured into our lives. Let’s be wise about the past, content in the present, and hopeful for a glorious future!